Bridges A Flame

My last blog might have been a little hurtful to some people. I want you all to know I no longer will be handing out advice to those I don't think can handle it. So I hope you the best in your lives and I hope the lies the fake people in your live give you make you happy. I am happy with my life and I am happy to say I found the one person in the world that truly loves me for me and I love him for him. I hope all my friends the same happiness in their lives no matter what they need to get it. I just want everyone to know that I tried my best for many years to be a honest friend that would tell you like it is even if that may hurt you. Does that sound like a bad or good thing to you? Well if you are the one that said it was a bad thing you are in luck because I am done giving you my unwanted advice and support. All I have ever did was try to make you realize that you are great in your own way and that you should never let others take that away from you. I have watched many of you let people bring you down or watch you lie to yourself about who and what you are, and when I gave you my much needed advice and support you took advantage of it or you turned your back. We are still friends but things have changed between all of us. This blog my seem a little dramatic to some but it is my honest opinion and views on everything. No one is perfect but you can only let people walk on you for so long before you can't take it any more. Bridges are on fire and on the verge of being burnt and I have no intentions of putting out the flames. This is not the next chapter in my life this is the end of that story and the beginning of a brand new book. Goodbye to all the fake people hello to the unknown. Whoever tags along I won't stop but that doesn't mean you belong here remember that. Think of all the things in the past that we have done for each other and how one sided it was. I never expected anyone to give as much as me I just wish you didn't take as much as you did. I have said this before and I will say it again I can not continue to help people that can't help themselves. Every time I think I helped you out of a hole you dig a new one and dive in head first. You are your own worst enemy and until you can learn to help yourself stop running around with your hand out. I am not the only person that feels this way and other people will get sick of helping you if you don't grow up. We are not kids anymore I can't fight your battles anymore so from now on only start battles you know you can win. I truly love my friends but like they say"if you love something let it go". You're free from my "judgment" and "bitching" as you so nicely like to put it and if that's what my friendship is to u then why are you my friend? Think long and hard before you comment on this or anything I post on FB because unless you want the world to know who you are and you want to man up and take credit for your wrong doings then don't comment. You can call me out on whatever you want but you better be honest because if you spread lies about me then that burning bridge will become our battleground and we will go down in flames together. Good Luck! Peace out thanks for reading.

WTF

WTF WTF WTF

I wish I could write all the things that are in my head but if I did then everyone would be mad at me and hate me. I don't care if people don't like me I just don't feel like listening to people defend their stupid ass decisions. I make mistakes but I don't blame everyone else for them. Some people in my life drive me up a damn wall most the time. I am so sick of being the bad guy because I can't help when you need it or because you ask my opinion on something then you don't like what I have to say. WTF people don't talk to no more I don't give a crap anymore. I'm sick of the stupidity of humans and how shallow people really are. I'm not dumb enough to fall for your guilt trips or to give you pity because you feel sorry for yourself. Grow up take responsibility for your actions and your decisions, stop expecting everything to be handed to you. Work for what you want and cherish what you need! I can't help people that won't help themselves. If you are not willing to work for things and try to help yourself then how do you expect others to help you. All you are doing is bringing the people that care about you down with you, and if you are ok with that or that is what you want then you are a pathetic waste of life. I try to be nice but I have come to the conclusion that people don't listen when I am nice so I'm gonna continue to be the bitch that I am very good at being and tell shit like it is. Anyone that is reading this that knows me knows I only have a few friends and most the time those few friends are too wrapped up in their BS drama that they can't get their heads out of their ass long enough to see that maybe they should approach life differently if the want something better in life. The funny thing about this is the people I really want to read this won't because they don't want to hear the truth so they never read my blog. I used to go out of my way to hang out with some of my closest friends until I realized it was a one way street that they don't visit me unless they need stuff or want to talk about their own BS but as soon as I start talking about something about myself they turn it back around so the conversation is all about them. I hope you get mad at me for the things I say because then you know how I feel and how shitty of people you guys really are. I don't care how many so called friends you might have but if they think you are the greatest friend in the world then either they have very shitty friends, or they are lying to you or the most likely thing is they don't really know you. I care deeply for my family and friends and I put their need above mine. You have no needs but your own and you claim to care but in the end it is all about how something can benefit you. I have offered to talk about our problems I have offered to help budget your finances to help you out I have been there when you needed a shoulder to cry on, now look back at all the ways I have tried to help make your life better and you just spit in my face then when your life is shit again you come to me for my help fuck you get yourself out of it without me this time and only then will you realize I wasn't being mean I was honest and tried to help you now that help is gone. The bridge is on fire and I don't know how to stop you from burning the last bridge you have to walk on. Good Luck!

Confrontational

I guess that's the best word to describe myself other then calling myself a bitch. I know I am confrontational and I know I say things I probably should't but I am better now then I used to be does that count for anything. I try to keep most my "drama" away from home. I have a happy life with my family and I don't let some FB drama ruin my day. Most the time that people say I start drama I'm just being honest with people then they get mad because they didn't want to hear the truth they wanted someone to powder their butts and tell them everything is gonna get better. Well, I;m not the right person to be friends with if you want false sympathy. Also, if someone attacks me on your FB and I defend myself don't get pissed and say I started that drama I was just defending myself. When I comment on peoples stuff it is directed towards that person or whatever person I tagged in it the rest of the readers can ignore it for all I care. I started this blog because my posts on FB were offending too many people. Why are people scared to be honest about whats going on. I encourage all my friends to write whatever they are feeling even if those feelings pertain to something I did on FB. I want for everyone on my FB to know why I say or do the "mean" things I do. Once you hear my side of the story you will understand, you may not agree but you will understand why I do things the way I do. Sugar coating things and giving false sympathy isn't helping people with their troubles. If you ask my advice be prepared for the harsh truths of life. I know when to be nice about harsh truths but I will never sugar coat it. We are not children that need to be pampered we are adults that need to face reality no matter how cruel are painful reality may be. The world seems like a wonderful place and it can be once you learn to accept that pain, loss, and heartache are all part of it. You will live past low points in your life as long as you don't dwell on the what ifs and what might be's in your life. Move on and make the most of what you have. All of us need someone in our lives that will be honest even if that honesty hurts or causes fights. I am that person to my friends and I know I have a few friends that are 100% honest with me most the time lol. I will give advice to anyone that asks for it but just remember that my honesty can be mean and you may not be ready for the truth. Also if you don't want your dirty laundry on FB then don't make statuses that call out your own dirty laundry. How are people on FB supposed to know what not to say to vague ass status updates damn be more specific.I may be confrontational but I try to get along with people for the most part. I give everyone the chance to get to know me as I get to know them before I decide if I like them. I just want people to tell me straight up if they like me or not don't be all nice to my face and then talk crap behind my back. What does that accomplish? I don't have very many people I hang out with because I come off a little intimidating (well thats what I'm told anyway). Also I don't like letting people get too close to me because then that gives people the chance to screw me over and I don't trust easily. I have lost countless friends because they didn't want to hear what I had to say or they have screwed me over and I won't give them another chance to do that. So I am happy with the few people in my life I may bitch about them but no one gets along 100% of the time. So I will speak my mind and be who I am. So until next time Peace Out! If anything I say in my blog offends, enlightens, or just intrigues you please comment I would love to talk further on that. 

Haters Gonna Hate

I have the worst luck with people. Well I guess I wouldn't say it that way I guess I mean people can't handle me very well lol. I don't care if every person on my FB deleted me right now I would just be like WTF and then move on. Don't get me wrong I care about my friends and family but I don't need social media to care about the people I care about, but social media makes keeping in touch easier that's why I use it. Anyway I got a little side tracked there, if you decide to delete me and block me on FB with no explanation I'm thinking maybe you weren't my friend to begin with. Also, its nice to talk crap about me to my friends because then I get to hear about how much of a two faced jerk you really are. I hate that I try to give advice and listen when people need someone to talk then get stabbed in the back. Anything bad I have ever said about my friends to anyone I have said to their faces I'm not scared of confrontation. I tell people like it is sometimes I may word it different so it doesn't come out so hurtful but in the end I say what I feel. People need to hear the truth even if it hurts them. I am not perfect by any means and I encourage my friends to be honest with me even if it is something I may not want to hear at the time but one point I need to hear it. To all you people that talk crap behind my back grow a pair and say that shit to my face. Also I'm sick of all these half truths that you all throw around. You are just telling the parts of the story that make you look good WTF. I'm not mad I am just sick of people coming to me saying oh so and so said this about you or look at these screenshots of a conversation I had with some bitch that likes to run her mouth behind your back. Why do people have to talk shit behind my back am I that scary that they can't say it to me? If so then right on I am a scary bitch my work here is done lol. FB is like high school its all drama and sometimes funny or crazy stuff happens. So as long as things are entertaining I'll keep my FB and keep sharing memories with people that actually have lives other then just starting drama and making out with their cats because they can't keep a man and no one in their right mind wants a bitch that sounds like a pug with asthma when she breaths. Oops, started to rant a little there hehehehe. What I really want to do is write the names of all the people that have pissed me off here lately and enlist anyone that reads this to make those peoples life a living hell but I won't because I like having this blog and my FB and I don't want to get deleted. So I guess I'll be a good girl and keep my cool until the time comes and these people actually try to talk to me then I can let them hear how I really feel about them. So to all my readers thanks again for reading my crazy blog and keep coming back. feel free to share this on any social media that you have I would love for EVERYONE to read my blog. So until next time Peace Out! 

I'm Crazy

I'm not writing this for people to feel sorry for me or tell me I;m not crazy. I know I am crazy I feel everyone is a little crazy in their own way. I live in this fantasy of how I think things should be and how they actually are. Everyone wants their happily ever after but no one told you that you will have to work your ass off to get it. I'm happy with where my life is right now, is it perfect, no not at all. I have bills I can't pay and my kids can be brats most the time but I love my kids and my boyfriend. Speaking of boyfriend, I am so in love with my boyfriend but I worry 24/7 that I am gonna loose him. See my happily ever after is a little askew. Worry is a major part of why I know I'm crazy I worry about things more then most people do. I feel that I need to know whats going on with everyone around me. Not in a gossip kind of way, I just need control and when things are not under my control I feel a little stressed. I love my family and I love having them around me but I get stressed out easily when things don't go as planned most the time I hold my composure but sometimes I loose it and can't hold my cool. I'm just happy I have friends and family that stick around even after they see me loose my cool and look like a crazy person. Back to my worrying, I worry about things all the time they eat away at me. Nothing is guaranteed in this world. I know worrying about things wont make it any better and believe me I am working hard on not worrying about things that are out of my hands and just enjoy the here and now. This is a hard task for me especially when it has to do with relationships. The happier I am the more worried I seem to be. For example I have never loved someone as much as Nic (I know you are thinking "OMG shut up about your man already" but this is the best description for my worry) yet I worry all the time that I'm not good enough for him and that when he finds a girl better then me my whole world will come crumbling down and I'll loose him forever. No matter how many times he tells me he loves me and wants to be with me forever I just have this worry in the back of my head that eats away at me until I start thinking it may happen. I also worry that I'm not a good enough parent I try my hardest to do what I can for my kids yet I feel like its never enough. (That may be a fear of most parents lol) Life is just full of worries for me yet I don't let those worries stop me from getting and doing the things I want. If I let this stop me from doing or having all these things then I wouldn't have a life. I want to live my life to the fullest. This means my life will be full of failures and disappointments but also great adventures and amazing moments and memories. Think of it this way what if you could meet your true love I mean the love of your life your soul mate, but the catch is you can only spend one year together before they would die. Would you still want to meet that person? I know I would because that would be the best year of my life and ever moment we spend together will stay with me forever and the worry of loosing that person wouldn't matter in those moments. The fear and worry I have suck but I wouldn't give up anything in my life because of that worry or fear. I love all my family and friends and hope you all do the amazing things that scare you and make you worry because I know I will and am. well until next time Peace Out!