Do you ever feel like no matter what you do everything in your life is all messed up. Then just as you think everything is going great you find out you were so wrong. My life is good for the most part but it seems like all the little things that are going wrong are adding up and ganging up against me. I try to make people happy and that doesn't seem to work so I decide to just do what I think is right and that is wrong too. I don't know how to make everything just go back to before these problems all ganged up on me. It feels like I am trapped in a glass box watching everything I love and care about fall apart and there is nothing I can do to stop it. Maybe I'm not destined to be happy and have the things I want. Maybe all I can do is watch it burn down and hope something can rise from the ashes. I hate not being in control and this is the worst feeling to me. Some days it's like I'm all alone and no one understands me. Other days I try to reach out and talk to people but they are all too wrapped up in their own lives, problems and joys to stop and truly listen. The one person I do talk to takes everything I say so personally that the conversation ends up in an argument or they just shut down and don't say anything. Any other time in my life I would have just thru in the towel and said the hell with all this and ran away but I don't want that now I have this overwhelming urge to make it all right. Like this life is the one worth fighting for. All my life I have been searching for a life and people I really wanted and now I have found all that but I seem to have to fight so much harder to make it work. I guess the best things in life a worth fighting for. I just hope one day all the fighting pays off and my life can go back to the way I want it to be. I know life isn't perfect but I just want less stress and more happiness for all people involved in my life. So to wishful thinking I guess. Well enough of all this. So until next time my lovely's Peace Out!
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